A Grateful Memorial Day

A Grateful Memorial Day

As we head into Memorial Day weekend, many look forward to the upcoming summer months as they enjoy a long weekend and time spent celebrating with family and friends. As I leave some of my family at home, I am en route flying into Arlington, Virginia, to meet my “other family” — fellow loss survivors in the military community, and to support the TAPS National Military Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp, held annually during Memorial Day weekend now for 31 years. 

This time of year is normally centered around neighborhood barbecues, festivities at the nearby parks and beaches, cruising the waterways in boats and kayaks, and the endless sales from local and online businesses. As people are out enjoying one another’s company with laughter and creating happy memories, some often lose sight of what the holiday is truly about — a time to honor the dedicated service of all those who died while, or after serving, in the United States Armed Forces. 

For families, loved ones, friends, and fellow service members and veterans of America’s fallen military, this is not necessarily a time of happiness; it often comes with the cost of personal loss and tragedy. Rather, it is a solemn time of remembrance, reflection, and appreciation. For some, Memorial Day can be associated with difficult emotions and memories, especially for surviving loved ones and service members remembering their fallen comrades. The sacrifice of countless lives lost within our military community ranges from those on active-duty service who may have lost their lives to various causes, such as in combat or a training accident to those who died while upholding military operations on the home front. We also need to acknowledge those who previously served — those who, after discharge from the military, may have have died from a service-connected illness or injury, as with a death by suicide. These are commonly referred to as “invisible wounds of war” or “moral injuries,” sometimes combining both physiological and psychological wounds, as with traumatic brain injury, posttraumatic stress, depression, addiction, or other mental health-related concerns. 

As many embrace this holiday together, let us also reflect and offer our gratitude to those who made the ultimate sacrifice after serving our nation and those who love and remember them. We each may celebrate or commemorate in our own ways. We may fly the country’s flag, watch a historical military movie, visit a national veterans cemetery, attend a nearby parade, or memorialize those in the military community for their service, sacrifices, and losses. If you are not part of the military community, you can still find your own unique way to recognize and honor fallen military members, such as checking in on a veteran or military family, or taking some time to learn more about the history and meaning behind this federal holiday. 

One final suggestion to consider: Instead of offering the (well-intended) commonly used salutation of wishing everyone a “Happy Memorial Day.” A respectful alternative, a “Grateful Memorial Day,” more appropriately matches the significance of the day — honoring, respecting, and remembering the fallen. On Memorial Day and every day, TAPS honors lives lived in service to our nation and supports all those they left behind, carrying pride and gratitude for their service, immense grief, and needs that arise after a military-connected death. Visit taps.org/mission to learn more about our impact and taps.org/donate to join our mission of honoring the fallen and supporting their survivors.